I remember being in a drunken state so dizzy and high yet well aware of the conversation that me and my mother was having. I had slipped back into the world and of course I was too afraid to tell her. Whenever I was in her presence I told myself never to give her eye contact. So here I am laying here replaying all the recent events that had taken place the past few days. Unknowingly this would be the last conversation me and my mother would have. That day she spoke words of wisdom over my life and my current situations. I recall her encouraging me as far as my marriage went and telling me that I deserved better than what I was getting. I totally agreed with her not having a quick fix about how I would get to where she saw me. Suddenly I heard a voice saying, “Mama, wake u”! Then I woke up only to see that I was dreaming /reliving the last conversation me and my mother had.
Determined to stand on that promise that I made to my mother, which then I was just agreeing; I decided to put some action to our agreement. That day I sought legal aid and in two months my divorce was in progress. About five months later I was officially divorced. A part of me was so overwhelmed with excitement where another part of me was afraid of the healing process. Please be aware that statistics shows that after a divorce it takes five years of healing per year of the marriage. My marriage ended after a total of seven years so the outlook was not good. God had another plan in mind though.
That morning, I was in a terrible mood. I remember always being mad at everything, everyone and in a sense I was mad at life itself. I was hurting on the inside and all the pain began to show on the outside. I was so hurtful with my words and sometimes when things didn’t go my way, I would throw an absolute fit. That morning before attending Sunday service, my oldest daughter did something minor in which I totally blew it out of proportion. When everyone was ready to go and outside waiting for me I ran back in the bathroom to make sure I looked pleasant. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing beauty on the outside but feeling ugly on the inside. I whispered to God and told Him that I can’t continue on this way… I needed Him to heal me. During service who knew that Bishop would preach about God and His healing power. He touched on everything that I had ever faced in life that caused me pain; even up until that hour and even my thoughts. I went to the altar and stood there because I needed a touch from God. As Bishop prayed for everyone around me I hoped he’d pray for me but he didn’t. Instead he stood a few feet in front of me and spoke directly to me. I was overtaken by God’s annoting falling to the floor I felt something in the spirit realm release me. When I got up off that floor I knew without a doubt God healed me instantaneously. I felt refreshed, revived and full of joy all at the same time. Later that day I would see my ex-husband from a different perspective that is. He’s no longer my enemy, have me bound by chains of un-forgiveness or hurt from what he did. I was pain-free but most of all I was happy again. I ended that day singing and rejoicing in the Lord … my Healer!
He was wounded for our transgressions, He was abused for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him and by His stripes we are healed. – Isaiah 53:5